Our marriage philosophy has always been that, if we are in disagreement about something, the person with the stronger preference wins. You want relish in the potato salad and I don't care? Relish it is. You want to send photographs with the Christmas cards and I think sending cards is stupid, but you really love the holiday mail? Christmas cards with photos it is. This philosophy of ranking preferences has served us remarkably well so far.
But now there's this thing. It's a thing that's creeping around our house. My husband wants to do something I am adamantly opposed to him doing. He is adamant that he really wants to do it. We are both incredibly strong in our preferences. As of right now, I am winning because the non-action is the status quo, but that is, it seems to be, a temporary situation.
I am ideologically, emotionally, and intellectually opposed to what he wants to do. He thinks I am being "emotional." Every night he finds more articles supporting his position and reads parts of them to me out loud while I'm brushing my teeth or washing the dishes. I refute his arguments, using my own logic and, yes, emotional appeal.
Just so you don't think I'm out of order here, you should be aware that my position on this action has not changed since we have known each other - his position is the one that is changing.
In the end, it doesn't matter. He will do what he will do and I retreat to a stony silence. Or he won't do anything and he will retreat to a stony silence.
I want this to have a happy ending, you know. I want this to be about how we compromised and came up with a solution that will make both of us happy. Only there is no middle ground here. He does it or he doesn't. No one is going to win and someone is going to be unhappy and think that the other person is selfish and unreasonable.
Life. It's what makes us miserable.